Author Archives: Madame Paradox

About Madame Paradox

Heidi David is a writer and freelance producer. She is the author of an as yet unpublished novel, THE FLYING JEWEL; the tale of a traveling circus where the price of admission is one's free will.

My Visit With The Amazon Warrior Women

Posted on May 19, 2011 by Madame Paradox

Today, I will be guest posting for Debi over at The Truth About Motherhood. Now don’t all freak out at once. I am not with child. (Someone get my mother an oxygen tank, would you?) In honor of her blog’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Amazon Women, Bedtime stories, Fiction, Guest Post, Humor, I don't eat spotted dick but I could try, Mommy Bloggers, Sensitive Skin One Reason I'm Not a Prima Ballerina, Sheena Queen of the Jungle, Social Media Moms, The Truth About Motherhood, writer, writing | 12 Comments

If Darla From The Little Rascals Can Do It, Why Can’t I?

Posted on May 10, 2011 by Madame Paradox

Dear Mr. and Mrs. David: Heidi is a bright child, imaginative and enthusiastic. She’s read every story in the reading corner, some of them twice. It’s our understanding she’s not a big fan of Fun With Dick And Jane as she … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Alfalfa, Buckwheat, character, Darla, Dick, Facebook, Fiction, Fun with Dick and Jane, Gene Wilder, Humor, Jane, Janet Leigh, Kindergarten, Our Gang, playing house, Psycho, Report Card, Spanky, Spot, The LIttle Rascals, writer, Writing Advice, YouTube | 24 Comments

Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Under the Influence Of This Writing Career

Posted on April 27, 2011 by Madame Paradox

I have this malady I fear is terminal, a creeping fungus that refuses to recede. I am a writer you see, and despite all my best efforts, I can deny this disease no longer. I mean no one in their … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Bedtime stories, childhood, Creativity, funny, history, Humor, Lewis Carroll, madness, Mallomars, memories, musical theater, passion, teacher, timeline, writer, writing | 26 Comments

Bacon, A Cautionary Tale

Posted on April 22, 2011 by Madame Paradox

I’m warning you right now this is a ridiculous post. But I’ve been remiss with my blogging so I thought I’d leave you a wicked little short. Note: This flash fiction was inspired by a contest I missed on the blog … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bacon, flash fiction, Horror, Humor, murder, pneumothorax, poison, revenge, Ryne Douglas Pearson, wicked | 14 Comments

The Apocalypse Is Nigh, In Other News…

Posted on April 4, 2011 by Madame Paradox

The bad news is wearing me down people. Seriously grinding me away. At this rate I will be a mere tablespoon of bitter cocoa powder by May. (What? Did you expect my essence to consist of buttercups and lollipops? Yeesh.) … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged aliens, cats, charlie rose, charlie sheen, Don Draper, fedora, glenn beck, headlines, Humor, Jersey Shore, Jon Hamm, Jon Stewart, Mad Men, Margaret Atwood, megalomaniacs, Neil Gaiman, news, Ninjas, paddle boats, scorpions, shark, Snooki, Stephen Colbert, The Truth About Motherhood | 24 Comments

Dr. Freud, We Have A Problem

Posted on March 23, 2011 by Madame Paradox

There are few things that warm the cockles more than watching a young child play with her dollies. Unless of course she’s me. A dolly placed in my hot little hands was immediately stripped of her worldly possessions. That’s right, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 1960's doll commercial, 1970's doll commercials, advice, Baby Alive, Baby Laugh A Lot, Barbie, Chatty Cathy, childhood memory, creative process, doll, editing, Freud, funny, Humor, Mattel, naked dolls, strange childhood behavior, toys, Velvet, writer, writing | 20 Comments

In War There Is No Substitute For Cleavage

Posted on March 10, 2011 by Madame Paradox

Some talented writer friends of mine, Jason C. McIntyre and Julie C. Gardner (that’s correct, I’m only friends with writers whose middle names begin with a C) cajoled me into posting this story. Quite the departure from my dark tale Edwina, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged cleavage, Fiction, Gorbachev, Guinness Book of World Records, Humor, passport photos, pasties, push up bras, story, Victoria Secret, vintage brassiere ads | 14 Comments

Edwina, Pretty Edwina

Posted on February 24, 2011 by Madame Paradox

A dark and creepy tale inspired by a rather unusual photo. Edwina, pretty Edwina sits in the window. See her shoes, those shiny shoes, the finely tanned leather, and the smart buckles? A fine custom shoe the cobbler sells, yes … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged cobbler, Fiction, Four legged woman, Horror, Myrtle Corbin, revenge, shoemaking, shoes, sideshow freak, tanning leather, writer, writing prompt | 30 Comments

Valentine’s Day Madame Paradox Style

Posted on February 14, 2011 by Madame Paradox

How it is that a pseudo holiday with all sorts of bloody origins ended up being the official gushy lovetastic extravaganza that is Valentine’s Day, only Hallmark really knows. Be that as it may, I shall honor the day with … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Baby Huey, Bette Davis, books, cadbury chocolate couture show, champagne, chocolate, Eva Gardner, Godiva, Humor, lingerie, Marilyn Monroe, Ogden Nash, Russ Meyer, Sophia Loren, Sweethearts, Valentine's Day, Whitman's Sampler | 24 Comments

Beware Supervillains, My Nose Will Defeat You

Posted on February 1, 2011 by Madame Paradox

By day, she is the mild mannered Madame Paradox, aspiring author. But at night, oh at night Ladies and Gentleman, a beast is unleashed. One with powers heretofore unheard of on this planet. For you see, deep in the superhero … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged childhood memory, crazy foam, Creativity, hives, Humor, insomnia, inspiration, kryptonite, nose, Pearl S. Buck, quote, sensitivity, smell, storyteller, superhero, superpower, supervillain, tea rose perfume, underdog, wonder woman, writer | 20 Comments

Author Archives: Madame Paradox

About Madame Paradox

If Darla From The Little Rascals Can Do It, Why Can’t I?

Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Under the Influence Of This Writing Career

Bacon, A Cautionary Tale

The Apocalypse Is Nigh, In Other News…

Dr. Freud, We Have A Problem

In War There Is No Substitute For Cleavage

Edwina, Pretty Edwina

Valentine’s Day Madame Paradox Style

Beware Supervillains, My Nose Will Defeat You

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